Top Strategies for Improving Your Self-Awareness

You find yourself feeling angry, but you’re not even sure what set you off. You’re frustrated that people always seem to misunderstand you. You don’t really know what motivates you.

A lack of self-awareness could be behind these thoughts. Self-awareness is your ability to understand your emotions, behaviors, thoughts, motives, desires and beliefs and to see how they affect you and other people.

“It is the knowledge and ability to look at and assess yourself. You know you are self-aware when you can identify the nature of why and who you are,” said Tionna Hugley, a licensed professional counselor with Banner Health.

When you’re self-aware, you:

Are aware of how your internal state affects your external actions.
See life’s challenges more clearly and can take control over how you handle them.
Manage your reactions, make better decisions and improve your relationships.
May improve your mental health since you’re less likely to feel stressed or anxious if you understand what triggers your feelings and actions.

Different factors play a role in self-awareness

Self-awareness has a few key components:

Emotional awareness: Identifying what you’re feeling and why, as your emotions occur.
Thought awareness: Being mindful of the way you think and how your thoughts influence your actions and perceptions.
Behavioral awareness: Understanding how your behaviors impact you and other people and noticing how your actions match your values and goals.

Self-awareness also falls into two main types that work together to help you understand yourself and your place in the world:

Internal self-awareness: This includes your understanding of your emotions, thoughts and motivations and knowing who you are on a deeper level. With internal self-awareness, you recognize your strengths, weaknesses and goals. It helps you match your actions with your values and make decisions that reflect your true self.
External self-awareness: This involves understanding how other people see you and how your actions and behaviors affect them. It’s about being aware of how you impact the people around you. It helps you navigate social interactions and build stronger relationships.

Before diving into the benefits of self-awareness, it's important to note that self-awareness can look different for everyone. People with neurological differences like autism or ADHD may have distinct ways of understanding and processing their emotions, thoughts and behaviors. If you or a loved one find that self-awareness practices are not effective or seem particularly challenging, it may be helpful to tailor these approaches or work with a behavioral health specialist familiar with neurodivergent needs.

The benefits of self-awareness

Self-awareness can help you improve in several key areas that are important to your well-being.

Mental health

When you’re self-aware, you can understand what triggers your emotions and manage them better. “Self-awareness provides control over your emotions,” Hugley said.

You can process your feelings instead of letting them build up and cause stress or anxiety. When you face difficult situations, you can make better decisions that improve your well-being.

Personal growth

When you have insight into your own behaviors, motivations and values, you can make more thoughtful decisions and set goals that matter to you. Self-awareness helps you understand your strengths and areas for improvement so you can focus on personal growth and development.

With self-knowledge, you can recognize patterns in your behavior and make adjustments that support your personal growth so you can improve personally and professionally.

Relationships

Being aware of how your actions and behaviors affect others helps you communicate more effectively and build stronger connections. When you’re self-aware, you can respond to other people with empathy and understanding. You can also recognize and address any habits or traits that may be harming your relationships so you can make them more positive and supportive.

Signs of low self-awareness

If you’re not self-aware, how can you recognize it in yourself? “Signs you might lack self-awareness include lack of personal accountability, lack of integrity, consistently blaming others, seeking approval or validation from others and falling into poor habits without thinking about the consequences for yourself and others,” Hugley said.

If you’re not self-aware, you may:

Find it hard to know what sets off emotional reactions or stressors. For instance, you might have angry outbursts but not know what’s causing them.
Often have conflicts or misunderstandings with others, which may be a sign that you’re not aware of how your words or actions affect them.
React defensively to feedback or criticism instead of reflecting on it.
Notice that your actions don’t always match your values or goals, which could mean you’re not aware of your motivations and behaviors.
Struggle to adjust to new situations or challenges, which could be a sign that you don’t know how to cope or adapt.

To evaluate your self-awareness, ask yourself:

Do I find it hard to understand why I feel the way I do in certain situations?
How do I respond to feedback from others about my behavior? Do I take time to reflect on it rather than reacting right away?
Do I see patterns in my reactions or behaviors that seem out of sync with my values or goals?
Am I aware of how my actions and words impact the people around me?
Do I have trouble recognizing or admitting my own mistakes?

How you can improve your self-awareness

“You can improve your self-awareness by being honest with yourself. Self-awareness starts with you,” Hugley said. These techniques can help.

Mindfulness practices

Practices like meditation and journaling can help you understand your emotions and thoughts.

Meditation helps you become more aware of your internal state by encouraging you to focus on the present moment and observe your thoughts and feelings without judging them.

Writing about and reflecting on your experiences and emotions can help you spot patterns in your behaviors and thoughts. Keeping a journal helps you track changes over time and notice themes in your life.

Seeking feedback

Asking for and reflecting on feedback from others can enhance your self-awareness. Talk to your friends, family or colleagues about how your behavior affects them.

Try to be open to hearing their perspectives without getting defensive. Take time to think about the feedback and how you can use it to make positive changes.

Professional help

Therapy or coaching can support your efforts in improving self-awareness.

Working with a therapist can help you explore issues and patterns in your behavior. Therapy gives you a safe space to get insights into your emotions and thoughts.

A coach can work with you to set goals for personal growth and help you understand your strengths and areas for improvement. Coaching focuses on actionable strategies you can use to improve self-awareness and reach your goals.

Self-reflection exercises

Try these self-awareness-building activities:

Daily reflection: Set aside time each day to think about your experiences and emotions. Ask yourself what went well, what challenges you faced and what you learned about yourself.
Personality assessments: Take personality tests to learn about your traits and preferences. Tools like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the Enneagram can give you valuable information about your personality and behavior patterns.
Monthly assessments: Hugley suggested taking time every month to assess yourself, your relationships and your work. “Ask yourself how you have contributed to success in these areas and how you’ve slacked or created tension,” she said.

Tips for maintaining self-awareness

To keep your self-awareness as strong as possible, it’s a good idea to include a few practices in your life:

Make mindfulness for self-awareness, such as meditation or journaling, part of your daily schedule. Just a few minutes a day can make a big difference.
Use apps or visual cues throughout the day to bring your attention back to the present moment and reinforce your mindfulness practice.
Set aside time for self-reflection at the end of each day or week. Review your actions, thoughts and emotions and see how they match your values and goals.
Create a plan to meet specific, measurable goals related to self-awareness. For example, you might aim to improve the way you regulate your emotions or your understanding of how your behaviors affect others.
Be kind to yourself and recognize that developing self-awareness will bring both successes and setbacks.
Celebrate your progress and efforts. Recognizing your achievements can boost your confidence.
Avoid self-judgment and criticizing yourself. Try to have an open and non-judgmental mindset, so you have a more positive approach to personal development.

The bottom line

When you’re self-aware, you understand your emotions, behaviors and thoughts and you see how they impact you and the people around you. If you’re not self-aware, you can improve through mindfulness, asking for feedback and professional help. “Getting to truly know yourself is important. Take control over yourself and your thoughts,” Hugley said.

If you’d like to connect with a behavioral health provider who can help you become more self-aware, call Banner Behavioral Health at 800-254-4357.

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Are You Self-Aware? Here’s How to Understand Yourself Better